I feel like the Biggest Doofus Ever!

My poor parents! Why didn't I ever know how hard parenting adult children was going to be?? Is it some sort of big fat universal secret?? When they are little and behave poorly, you can just handle it. But, when they are older, and technically adults....well...our options are minimal. We need to stand by and watch while terrible things can, and often do, happen to them.

No wonder my mother was a nervous wreck when I was pregnant after my first baby was an emergency c-section. No wonder my father often shook his head and sighed when my husband had a new business scheme....or before then, when I was dating someone less than desireable.

No wonder our hair turns gray and our skin wrinkles up!!!! As I watch my older children go off on their own, oh...the things I neglected to warn them about stand out glaringly at me. The ways of the world ...the things to be careful of...pitfalls....dangers...those things that can derail their future, steal their happiness, rob their health are everywhere I look.

Their futures hang on a thread...and it is out of my hands to help them. I have no choice, but to put them in the hands of the Lord and pray He keeps them safe. Is there such a thing as safety??

I raise our babies hoping I can do a good job. I feel happy when they reach High School, knowing they have gotten past those fragile baby years...and I hope and pray we can get through the "learning to drive" years without a serious accident, teen heartbreak, drugs etc. They got past those days. I was free and clear. Oh, no...my parenting skills are just being honed now.

Being the parent of an adult means:

You have to bite your tongue when your daughter's husband doesn't live up to your expectations.

Your child moves away and you no longer can make sure that he is eating well. sleeping enough, studying his course work.

Your child is in college and her room mate does not share the same principles and morals.

Your child discovers the "nightlife" and decides to join in ONE TIME and pays the consequence for the rest of his or her life

Your child gets sick...and you can not drive 100 miles to take them to the doctor because your younger child is also sick.

You can't say anything when you see the pitfalls, because you are so old fashioned and such a fuddy duddy....can't see eye to eye...don't understand the way things are now...

You see their immaturity, but can't point it out because that will alienate them and you know it is better to have open communications than NO communications...and adult kids are great at clamming up!

My children are good students. They have career paths. They work hard....my influence is now tempered by their decisions. My fear for them has multiplied. I thought my job was finished...it has really only, in a way, begun, but now my job is to pray...long and hard...for their lives and their souls. This is harder than making sure their schoolwork was finished and they knew their spelling words. This is much harder.
Yes, my kids were pretty easy teen agers...but not so great twenty-somethingers.

Think about it...they can drive...they own cars. They can drink legally. They can set up utilities, sign leases, get married, drop out of school, sign loan documents, date whoever they darn well please, have s*x, live with lunatic room mates who do drugs and bring home weird men...and they can't get them the heck out.....

They can pretty much make as many really bad choices as they want....they can eat cake for dinner, with a beer if they want to...They can go to Taco Bell and Wendy's instead of the supermarket and healthfood store. They can date the guy you hate and ditch the one you like. They think their friends and professors are smarter and more with it than you are...




So, Mom and Dad....I am sorry for all the gray hair and wrinkles, sleepless nights, worry, and bit tongues. I too have stepped in IT all too often...and must have caused my own parents plenty of anxiety.
 
I just never knew......