Apron Strings

Today on the WTM forum, the moms were talking about being able to let go of our children. One woman was batting around a neighbor's comment....and another commented on how she wanted her child to have a longer childhood. As a mom of grown children....I have a bit of a different perspective to all of this.

I am actually looking at this in an opposite way. My kids are growing up faster...as in, they are not still children at 18 or 20 or 25. They are adults. They moved into the adult phase of their lives smoothly...without being jerks.....they found jobs, went to college and didn't party like mad and fail out. They didn't sit home on the couch playing video games instead of interacting with the real world.

I think our society has extended childhood well onto some people's 30's. I have friends whose 30 year olds still live at home, have no direction, or desire of direction...can not put in a full day of work....the parents are left with full grown toddlers.....right down to the hissy fits.

My kids were helping us in our family. Helping to build a house, carry in firewood, cook meals, volunteering to help others in need, building and running a business. My 13 yo dd is very capable in an office. She can answer calls, dispatch service technicians, take messages, file...etc. Her friends are trying out make up and how to look pretty to boys.....whatever.

My older kids also played hard....and still play hard. They can have fun because we always had fun. My adult boys will sit on the floor and play legos with their young brothers...teach them to shoot arrows, sled down the hills etc. But, they are men.....not little boys anymore. Even at 17, my son is a man....not a boy. He is intelligent, well spoken, well read, and leading a work crew of men twice his age.

So, Yes.....their childhood was an actual childhood.....and then they became adults. No teen bull cr@p. So far, no teen pregnancies, drug issues, etc. It seemed my kids stayed little kids until about 15 or 16.....and then, they were adult-like.

It became a bit of an awkward period for them because they had a hard time relating to their peers. They did seem a bit odd and out of place because of the seriousness of their character. They were not the usual ousted teen whose parents are sick of parenting...and on their own completely to fall into all kinds of sordid behavior, nor were they the over watched, over scheduled teens who were forced to fill every waking hour with study and other enrichment activities.

I didn't do a perfect job...no where near one. My children are human...and therefore fallen, as we all are, and in need of a savior, but being home schooled gave them a different sociological avenue of development that I did not expect...and quite frankly, it unnerved me a bit. I feared I failed them. I feared I failed to give the the "American teen experience". Then, I looked around and realized that teen thing had extended well into the twenties...and even into the thirties. The system has created an entire generation of children with Peter Pan syndrome...who are " entitled" to be cared for by free health care, free housing, free food....etc. What was meant as a helping hand is now becoming a way of life....because children need to be children...even when they are no longer children. Then, the stakes were raised, and now a high school diploma is basically useless, except as a ticket to the University...if younhave the money or grades to get in. Does anyone hear a giant sucking sound??

So, when I am hit with the " you need to cut the apron strings" line of nonsense....I can comfortably say, " No, I don't. I have given my children the scissor, and the ability to cut those strings. They are independent. They can make it. They have lived in a hard working family their entire lives. They have seen and helped their parents work. They have been in the trenches, not in a belled prison.....they have been watched and taught, discipled, loved, and raised....not handcuffed, lined up, and force fitted into a box not of their own making.

Mammas.....keep those apron strings. They are an important tool in raising our children. Don't let just anybody come by and cut those strings. You hand those scissors to your children....give them the tools they need...and watch as they grow into the incredible adults God meant them to be.

~~faithe